Since perfection does not exist within us, self-reflection is an important aspect of our humanity. At times, people are subjected to toxic behaviors in childhood, and if left unchecked, these same toxic behaviors can resurface in us towards others in adulthood. Addressing the issue at hand is the first step in recovery. Are you emotionally abusive? Do you display toxic behaviors towards others? Ask yourself these questions.

1.) When the people you love do something you dislike, do you ignore them?

2.) Do you feel like you just have to “put up” with others?

3.) Do you find yourself constantly thinking that your loved ones do things the “wrong way?”

4.) Do you blame others for your unhappiness?

5.) Do you treat one person differently when you are in private, but then, when in public, do you treat the same person with an entirely different attitude? This attitude towards them in private would be considerably different and negative, but, then, when asked about your actions that were privately exhibited, do you deny the reality of what was actually stated?

6.) Do people you love avoid you when you are upset instead of comforting you?

7.) Do you become defensive when a loved one brings up a concern he or she may have? Do you refuse to reach a compromise?

8.) Do you have a difficult time apologizing? 

9.) Do you blame others for your moods or negative actions?

10.) Do others say you are moody or hard to please?

11.) Do you feel other acquaintances in your life are trying to drive you and your partner apart? Acquaintances can also be referred to as family and friends.

12.) Do you feel like your partner spends too much time with others?

13.) Do you accuse others of being too sensitive?

14.) Do you tend to find fault with everyone that you meet?

15.) Do you blame others when something goes wrong?

16.) Do you seek punishment against loved ones or others when they do something that you don’t like? Later, when confronted, do you deny having such intentions against them?

17.) When angry, do you gossip about others?

18.) When angry, do you refuse to communicate? Then, when confronted about your anger, do you deny such feelings?

19.) Do you humiliate others in public?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, then it may be time for you as an individual to sit down and think about changing some of your habits towards others. 


Mathews, A. (2016, September 26). When is it Emotional Abuse?. Psychology Today​ [On-line magazine].

​Stosny, Steven. (2010, June 10). What Drives Emotional Abuse and How to Begin to Recover. Psychology Today​ [On-line magazine.]

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