In healing, pain is not always immediately resolved. At times, pain does not work the way we desire it to be. Pain can take decades to heal or pain can exist only momentarily. The greater the emotional wound, the more time it takes to heal such a wound.
Let’s look at this example. Here we have Person A who has come into the hospital for a shooter wound, and then we have Person B who has a cold. Since Person B has a cold, Person B will take a shorter time to heal in comparison to Person A. In this way, our emotional pain is similar to our physical wounds. The bigger the emotional wound, the longer time it takes for it to heal. The smaller the emotional wound, the less time it takes for it to heal.
When facing trauma, this is the type of emotional wound that can take an extremely long time to heal, and there is no time requirement for each survivor. The time period for each survivor’s own healing will be completely dependent upon that particular survivor. It is a process for one to go through, and it’s an uncomfortable one at that. That process, in healing, can take a few months, years, or a lifetime. Supporters of loved ones, the survivor, can help support their loved ones by validating their experience. Offering validation can start the healing process for them in order to move forward. When the time has come, the survivor will learn to let go. Each one must process their own hurts in order for them to move forward, and that process can take time. A rushed process will only make the entire process of healing prolonged and more damaging overall for the survivor.